This Photography Life

Dispatches from the Polish-Ukrainian Border

Megan Kwasniak — Wed, 13 Apr 2022 22:06:00 +0000

The dusk came quickly and it started to rain again. The chilly, damp air permeated through all my layers of clothing, sending a shiver down my spine. It was our last day at the border and we have just said our goodbyes. The orange vests we wore throughout the week were now neatly placed on the bench beside us, ready to be picked up by someone else tomorrow. We exited the tent, illuminated by the warm glow of a fireplace and into the cold, damp evening, cameras hanging from our sides. We did not want to miss any potential photo story on our way out. We stepped onto the wet ground and took the same walk we have been taking this entire week – past all the volunteer tents set up to welcome and aid the refugees, past the hot food stalls and the vet clinic. We waved good bye to the familiar faces we’ve befriended over the past few days. At the very end of the path, we came to the bus stop. We had passed it multiple times daily before and watched groups of refugees climb its steps inside. Today, someone had set up a temporary awning to protect those waiting in the rain. Just a couple of hours earlier, the awning was not there. I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly it must have been set up in response to the changing weather conditions. We were almost out of the camp and past the makeshift bus stop when something made me glance back briefly. As I turned my head, my eyes met someone else’s waiting at the top. It took me a minute to recognize the familiar face. It was a young woman whom we had treated earlier at the tent. She was barely eighteen though appearing much older, with dark hair and stark green eyes. She was bundled up from the cold and waiting for the next bus to arrive. I couldn’t help but ponder, where would it take her? At this point, I knew the options were limited. Having gotten familiar with the situation over the past seven days, I realized that she’d likely be taken to the large refugee center in Przemysl, a converted shopping mall now occupied by more than five thousand people. And from there, what next? Her future was extremely uncertain. Perhaps she had a family living somewhere in Europe and would get to meet them eventually, after a few more days of travel. Perhaps she had no one and would have to spend some time at the center, with hundreds of others who had been forced to flee their homes. I didn’t know and perhaps she didn’t either. But one thing was certain: I had a home to go back to. She did not. As our eyes met, she smiled faintly at me. I had an urge to point my camera and take a photograph – I believe she would have happily obliged. But I stopped myself. I could not get myself to do it. I desperately wanted her to know that I cared deeply about her and about her suffering. That it wasn’t just about the photograph and I worried about sending the wrong message. It was precisely a situation like hers that had brought me here, to Medyka, in the first place. Now, after a week that went by too quickly, my time volunteering was over. I was going back home. And she, like thousands of others affected by this war were stuck in the uncertain state, displaced from their homes and faraway from everything they had known their entire lives. As we drove away from the camp, my heart ached. And I questioned whether anything I had done this past week made any positive difference to those in my presence. The choice to come to Medyka at the Polish-Ukrainian border was a spontaneous one. I had plans to spend three weeks in Madrid taking dance classes at one of the studios I have been following on social media for the past several months. But as the war broke out in Ukraine, I became restless and anxious watching the situation unfold. I was also learning about the various ways the Polish nation had stepped up to help those fleeing Ukraine, including members of my own family, and so I decided to get involved as well. In a way, having the time off for a trip to Madrid made it much easier to make this happen – I could just hop on the plane and be in Poland in less than four hours. My friend Sonia, a Ukrainian whose family emigrated to the USA many years ago decided to join me on this trip as well. We arranged to stay with my family members who live relatively close to the border, driving daily each way for an hour to get to Medyka. My role as a volunteer involved staffing the medical tent which was located directly across from the actual border crossing itself. Standing just outside of it, you could watch small groups of people walk down the long path shortly after their passports had been examined. All day we heard the familiar sound of suitcase wheels rolling against the concrete ground. Our tent was the first to be seen on the Polish side of the crossing. If any of the refugees were in need of medical help, we’d be the first to provide it. Many had stopped requesting evaluation or specific medications. While most cases were not severe enough to require hospitalization, the option to call an ambulance was available to us. The biggest ailment proved to be psychological trauma, one that will certainly be the most difficult to treat and one that will remain a challenge for years to come. Sonia, speaking fluent Russian, was able to communicate with most refugees on a deeper level. She worked as a translator at the tent and took the time to talk to everyone who reached out to her. I tagged along her side at times, taking photographs and listening to people’s stories when they were willing to share them. As I write this, the war is far from over. There are new groups of refugees getting ready to cross into Poland, as Russia is planning its ongoing offensive in eastern Ukraine. Sonia is getting ready to go back to Medyka and I’m getting ready to leave Madrid. I will not be able to join her this time as I have to go back to work in the ER. Either way, the war remains deeply etched in my mind. Perhaps I’ll get to help somehow again, but for now, I’m sharing the images of the people who kindly agreed to be photographed and wanted the world to know their story. And I ask all of you reading this, please don’t forget Ukraine. She needs all the support we can give her right now.

The post Dispatches from the Polish-Ukrainian Border first appeared on This Photography Life.

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Photographer Spotlight: Mauro De Bettio

Megan Kwasniak — Sun, 30 Jan 2022 19:29:37 +0000

Have you ever felt as if you’ve gotten to know someone based on social media following alone? While this may not be a common occurrence, I’ve certainly been able to connect with a few photographers on Instagram that it feels as if we’ve become friends. Mauro DeBettio is one of them. I cannot recall the first time I have seen or learned about his work, but his photography has fascinated me since. Mauro travels all over the world to photograph people and their cultures…He dives deep into the subjects he is passionate about and brings their stories to light. But I’ll save the spoilers and let him tell the the rest 🙂 1) Mauro, thank you so much for agreeing to do this interview! I am honored. Please tell us a little bit about yourself, where you are from and where you currently reside. I was born and raised in a little village in the Alps, in the north of Italy. From a young age I have felt the desire to tell stories and soon discovered that a camera was the right tool to do it with, an eye of sorts to communicate with others. It became an instrument towards a long journey of self discovery. In my village I had been working in a factory so it was quite difficult to find the possibilities to express myself creatively. One day, due to a combination of factors, I decided to leave everything behind. My big dream was to visit India, a country that I discovered in the pages of a novel (which I heartily recommend to everyone: The City of Joy). Since the day I got on that plane, what I call “my second life” had begun. The trip had turned out to be a wonderful experience that allowed me to meet many beautiful people and to prepare for everything that came after. Since then I’ve been to India six more times, followed by Bangladesh, Nepal and Africa. Over time, travel and photography have also become my job. I have the great fortune to experience exceptional places and cultures so, whenever I can, I organize tours and photography courses around the world. When I’m not traveling, my “base” is Barcelona, Spain. It is a city that I love because it is multicultural yet simple at the same time. And then there is the coast and the sea, which I love the most. I’ve created a very simple life for myself here and the only things I own are a bike and a surfboard. 2) What type of photographer do you consider yourself to be? Do you believe committing to a specific genre is important for a photographer or is it more beneficial to become more well rounded in all aspects of this creative art? Before figuring out what exactly I want to do with my camera, I undertook a long journey in which I experimented with different forms of photography. I started by photographing fauna (living in the Alps), then I did landscape, a little bit of macro and only at the end I started approaching human subjects. People were the ones who intimidated me the most. For this reason I started from far away and slowly approached closer. Documentary photography is undoubtedly the genre I’ve reached after this long journey. It’s the type of photography that represents my way of seeing and that, above all, allows me to live the lifestyle I want to live. As a matter of fact, I believe that I am a traveler first and a photographer second. I am certain that trying each of these different types of photography has helped me become the documentarian I am today, by combining different techniques and perspectives over time. 3) As you have mentioned before, you’ve been traveling all over the world to document people and their stories. Tell me about one trip that has left a truly deep impact in your heart and why. During my long trips I’ve had the good fortune to meet many great people and from each one I’ve absorbed something: happiness, joy, passions, and sometimes even anger, sadness and shame. In Ethiopia I climbed a mountain barefoot to photograph a priest in front of a church carved into a rock, in Nepal I hung on a rope to photograph honey hunters and in Bangladesh I stayed on the roofs of moving trains to make photographs. There have been many epic adventures. I have visited quite unique and crazy places that allowed me to create very unique stories. But the best thing I’ve ever done and I’m most proud of happened in Nairobi. During one of my trips to Kenya I had the opportunity to share my time and get closer to the street children of Nairobi. There are between 250,000-300,000 children living on the streets across Kenya, with more than 60,000 of them in the capital city of Nairobi. These children are often without shelter and go without food every day. I realized soon that these souls were in extreme need of help and decided to give birth to what today is called the “Malaika foundation”. Right now Malaika Foundation is focused on providing a home cooked meal to over 100 street children daily. This, however, is just the beginning. With people’s support, we hope we’ll soon be able to do much more. 4) A good portion of your photographs feature portraits from around the world. What is your best advice for someone who would like to photograph more people, but is shy or hesitant to do so? In one word: trust! I always feel a huge responsibility in finding the correct approach with people, to be able to properly explain with the images what they experience and who they are. Communication is always the first move to make, but sometimes even that is not necessary. Sometimes smiles and glances are enough to build mutual trust and break the mental and emotional barrier between me and the people I meet. Despite being in situations which are not often comfortable or easy, I always do my best to capture smiles and joy. It’s extremely important for me to show those particular emotions because they represent people’s strength and resilience. I am convinced smiles are a source of inspiration for all of us because they show that anything is possible when you face something with heart and courage from within. The determination which people show in the images I take is an extraordinary example of how every challenge can be converted into opportunity. My purpose in producing images that encompass different feelings is to evoke these emotions in the viewer. I want the viewer to stop and think about these real-life situations or hidden realities. In that way the camera is a vital tool that can help bring about social change. 5) You’ve organized photography trips for a small group of enthusiasts to various places in the world. Can you tell us a little more about these trips and what can we expect when embarking on a journey with you as a leader? The main and most important element when I organize and take people with me on my travels is ethics. For this reason I organize two to three trips maximum per year and only with a small group of four to five people. My tours have been created with extensive prior research in the field. A lot of time has been invested in findings the best areas, villages, landscapes and populations to ensure that my clients have the most amazing experience that these places can offer. The tours are focused on photography and on achieving the best photo opportunities but are also blended with a relaxed atmosphere that helps the participants maximize their creative and technical potential. As a participant, you will have the opportunity to learn and practice new and different photographic techniques, in various lighting situations and interesting environments. The tours are designed to have all the time necessary to experience unique encounters and create dream shots. Another unique and beautiful thing are the opportunities we bring to the communities we visit. In addition to financial aid, specific supplies and materials are delivered so that the people can sell or repurpose them to their own specific needs. I have gotten to know the places and communities we visit very well and a mutual trust has now been established. I am very proud of this. 6) What is next for Mauro? What are some of the projects you are currently working on or want to delve into? Soon I will be leaving for Nigeria for a project born last minute and which has changed all the other plans I had for this year. I have been contacted by a local writer who offered me a collaboration for a book on the tribes of Nigeria and of course I accepted immediately. In July I will return to Kenya for the new tour in Lake Turkana (soon I will announce the exact dates) and then I will continue some work on a personal photo project I started last year. In autumn I will visit India, my “second home”, the place I undoubtedly love the most. I will spend most of my time in Varanasi, for another personal project that I have been thinking about for years. You can learn more about Mauro, his projects, his photography tours as well as the Malaika Foundation on his website https://www.maurodebettio.com/ as well as his Instagram @mauro_de_bettio

The post Photographer Spotlight: Mauro De Bettio first appeared on This Photography Life.

The post Photographer Spotlight: Mauro De Bettio appeared first on This Photography Life.

Must Visit Places on your Northern California Photo Itinerary

Megan Kwasniak — Mon, 22 Nov 2021 01:58:28 +0000

Every few months, my friend Sonia and I become very restless and decide to take a trip together. Sonia is a fellow photographer and understands the logistics of travel when it comes to making images. Quite contrary to popular belief, image making is an intense, energy consuming process. Days are planned around the most ideal light, there are early wake up calls and late nights and scouting picturesque locations becomes more of a priority than eating at fancy restaurants. Photographers travel differently but I will write more on that subject in another blog post. The most recent trip Sonia and I had taken together was Northern California at the beginning of September. The main goal was a road trip through the Pacific Coast Highway. We had both dreamt up our own versions of what that road trip would look like and while we were able to experience a lot during this eight day journey, I can tell you this for sure: the trip has stirred my appetite for more. I now want to go even further north, exploring the places that are less known and less crowded than the famous PCH of the Californian coast. Pacific Coast Highway is a route that takes you from south to north of California, or vice versa, depending on where you are starting from. The road itself extends into Oregon as well, but we did not have time to venture that far. Our starting point was a place I had long wanted to visit: Point Reyes National Seashore. I have first read about it in Outdoor Photographer Magazine many years ago when I just started dabbling into photography. The photos of the foggy, somewhat mysterious coastline mesmerized me at that time…It’s been 10+ something years that I finally got to see it in person and it was, hands down, my absolute favorite place of the entire trip. In fact, I really need to go back there again 🙂 In a nutshell, Point Reyes was chilly, foggy and desolate – the perfect conditions for some moody-type photos. There are many hikes you can take in the area but even the drive itself is an absolute delight. We had the fortune of being on the main road just prior to sunset. Heading north in our rental car, we took notice of the sun setting to our right, turning the sky golden pink, drowning the scenery in pastel hues, too incredible to ignore. Any time one of us wanted to make a photograph, we were able to pull over as the road was practically empty. At one point, a herd of long antler dear appeared on the horizon. They trotted calmly, oblivious to our presence. I got out of the car to capture the animals’ long antlers silhouetted again the setting sun. At that moment, I was incredibly thankful not just for the scene before me, but for listening to my gut about packing the telephoto lens earlier – 20mm would have not been able to capture the majesty of the animals against the setting sky quite the same way. Point Reyes was the best place for moody, quiet type of photography. It left me with a sense of remoteness of a place and vast coastlines waiting to be explored. I’d definitely recommend bringing a telephoto lens (anything 85-400mm) to this location in addition to your wide angle, as you never know what wildlife you may encounter or if you decide to “compress” the jagged hills of the sprawling coastline. Point Reyes is also the home of a very famous landmark – the Cypress Tree Tunnel, the photos of which most of you have inevitably seen at some point while browsing the net. The literal alley of giant Cypress trees terminates at the gates of an abandoned historic building that you cannot enter, nonetheless this is a very interesting place to photograph. I chose it as the place for my Red Dress Travels series. Sonia and I stayed here for almost an hour making all kinds of images from different angles. Choosing sunset was the best idea for this and once again, we practically had the place to ourselved with very few other travelers appearing for short periods of time. Next we headed south and visited towns like Santa Cruz, Monterey and Big Sur, the more popular destinations on the PCH and thus, unfortunately, way more crowded. We could tell that the world, just the same as us, had become restless and was yearning to travel once again, despite the pandemic being still not quite such a distant memory. The key feature of all these destinations is their smaller town charm and it’s unmistakable beach vibes. There are plenty of photo opportunities there, from street style photography to quiet seascapes. In Santa Cruz we photographed during the most beautiful sunset and chased after surfers hitting the big waves – with our cameras of course 🙂 Even though scenes like these reminded me of Florida, the chilly air called for warm jackets and the water was not swimmable without at least a wet suit. Other than swimming, we explored the coastline; ragged, stormy and sometimes quite difficult to get to. We got lost looking for a “secret beach” that a local recommended in his youtube videos, but we never quite made it. Instead, we walked more than 5 miles in each direction, stumbling upon a dead seal and a group of hungry vultures waiting to pounce on its not yet decaying body. Nonetheless, the walk was beautiful and worth it. Many times not a single other person was found in sight. It was a perfect place to create landscape type photos or an environmental portrait type session. We finished our trip in San Francisco and I decided to photograph the famous Golden Gate Bridge. I will admit that photographing as iconic of a sight as this famous bridge can be daunting, but I didn’t want to leave the trip without at least one image of the landmark. Not knowing the city well, I could only focus on the locations that are more known among travelers and photograph it from there. The fog of san Francisco has always fascinated me and the season to “catch” most of it was at the beginning of September. Instead of worrying that I’m not an expert of the area, I decided to plan a bit more and take advantage of whatever presents itself to me. I made sure to get up at sunrise and visit the bridge from up close and from some distance, choosing to walk the famous Baker’s Beach and chatting up with locals along the way. I may not have captured the most unique photo of the bridge, but I managed to get a few interesting shots to be added to my collection 🙂 Again, a telephoto lens came very much in handy, as it allowed me to compress the bridge against the fog and the clouds, creating somewhat of a surreal mood. For all those thinking of driving the Pacific Coast Highway, I’d definitely say go for it; it’s a beautiful route to take on and to create many beautiful images. But for this one, research ahead of time, as seasons can greatly affect availability of lodging: this is a very popular road to drive and visit. For those of you who prefer more peaceful, less crowded destinations I’d say go as north as possible within the state and stay north, as it seems far less crowded than the south. Bring at least two types of lenses: wide angle and a telephoto as walking long distances with heavy gear should not be an issue for the most part. As always, plan around the best light and take advantage of all that comes your way, allowing your creative vision to shine through 🙂

The post Must Visit Places on your Northern California Photo Itinerary first appeared on This Photography Life.

The post Must Visit Places on your Northern California Photo Itinerary appeared first on This Photography Life.

Not to miss destinations on your short trip to Utah

Megan Kwasniak — Mon, 22 Feb 2021 00:59:03 +0000

Traveling during the pandemic has presented challenges like no other time in history. I had originally written this post mid-Covid and I feel that I didn’t give the beautiful state of Utah much justice. Who can blame me though, it was a stressful time in our history and most people were not able to focus on much else except survival 🙂 Today, as I review some of my older blog posts and update them for relevance, I decided to rewrite this one in particular and provide as much insight regarding photography in Utah as possible. To start with, Utah is a very large state and with a tremendous number of attractions and places to photograph. I feel I barely scratched the surface of what it has to offer. In this post, I will speak especially to those who can only allot a short time to visit the state and point out some of the practically guarantee places to make great photographs. Join me. The first stop on our itinerary was Zion National Park. Unfortunately, while one of the most beautiful and unique places in Utah, it is also most heavily trafficked and popular with tourists. In November, the trees were blazing yellow and the weather extremely pleasant for hiking and exploration. As usual, I took a great deal of time for wandering and aimless exploration. This usually helps me find places that are more deserted and thus less likely photographed by others. The paths less traveled almost always equal better photographic opportunities. Next, we headed towards Monument Valley, a destination I have always wanted to visit and since commencing The Red Dress Project, I had envisioned it as part of the photographic travel series. Because visiting Monument Valley was one of the top priorities of our trip, I made sure to photograph it at dusk AND dawn, even though getting up at 4AM on a cold November morning was no easy feat 🙂 Nonetheless, I highly recommend it. The dawn and dusk light imparted very different atmospheres to the scene and I still can’t decide which one I like better. Of note, the travel distances in Monument Valley were very limited due to Covid restrictions at the time and we were not actually allowed to enter into the area as is usually possible. We had to limit out exploration to the main road and while the views were still stunning, I would love to revisit for a chance of deeper exploration. On the way to the very last stop on our itinerary, we swung by Coral Pink Sand Dunes, a desert like area in the south west region of Utah that seems as if it should not belong there. Unfortunately due to time constraints, we couldn’t stay for long to watch the sunset, which would have been my personal choice. There’s nothing better that long shadows cast by the setting sun giving multiple dimensions to tiny grains of sand coming together in the form of giant dunes. Nonetheless, if you enjoy the vastness of deserts, make sure to stop by this place. Just remember to protect your gear and eyes from the harsh environment and sand which has a tendency to creep in everywhere.

The post Not to miss destinations on your short trip to Utah first appeared on This Photography Life.

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Why Havana is One of the Best Cities for Street Photography

Megan Kwasniak — Tue, 01 Sep 2020 03:04:05 +0000

It was early March and the weather in Havana was lovely: warm, but not too humid, breezy in the mornings and with occasional rain showers in the early afternoon. The city was exactly as I had remembered it from a few years ago: noisy, colorful, full of light and life that seemed to have frozen in time. As I stepped onto the streets on the first day of my fourth visit, I was hit with a faintly perceptible nostalgia. The scenes so familiar from the past unfolded before me. Classic cars wheezed by, occupied by happy tourists and their stylish chaufeurs, the smell of cigar smoke permeated different corners of Havana Vieja and the on the Malecon locals and visitors alike strolled lazily along the boardwalk’s impermeable sea wall. Perhaps that is precisely why Havana appears so charming to those who visit it: it doesn’t change all that much through the years. While I don’t doubt that living in Cuba is a challenging endeavor on many levels I cannot help but feel love and nostalgia for the people and the country. I am also grateful for the plethora of photographic opportunities present on every corner. Having visited Cuba, and specifically Havana, a few times at this point, I can confidently say that the city is one of my favorite places for street photography overall. The combination of beautiful light, colors and shadows along with the contrast of grand yet dilapidated buildings makes for some of the best opportunities to capture emotionally evoking photographs. I consider it an especially fantastic place to start in street photography. If you are a novice who still feels shy and unsure about capturing street photos, Cuba is the place for you. Let me prephase the next part of this post that I do not necessarily consider myself a “pure” street photographer. While I photograph on the streets a lot, and even though my has work been featured in street photography exhibits around the world, I don’t consider myself an elitist of the genre by any means. Over the past several years street photography, in my opinion, has come to symbolize specific type of images where quirkiness, mystery and perfectly organized chaos prevail. My photos tend to be much more simple than that. Nonetheless, just like in any genre of art, there will be a variety of artistic expression represented. So let me share some street photography thoughts in general and how photographing in Havana can help you make the best images possible. Of note, this most recent visit to Cuba was one of my last travels for a while…As soon as we returned back home at the end of that first week in March, the Covid pandemic hit the world at full force and became a harsh new reality. It didn’t feel right for me to talk about the visit or post photographs from the trip as everyone struggled with illness and anxieties of the unknown. But now I find myself reliving the memories and finally going through the photographs I had taken then. It was the very first time I photographed solely with a wide angle prime lens and doing so was quite an adjustment from my usual shooting style. Nonetheless, I am happy to share some favorite images here. Cuba, you will always have my heart.

The post Why Havana is One of the Best Cities for Street Photography first appeared on This Photography Life.

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Photographer Spotlight – Sofia Sebastian

Megan Kwasniak — Sat, 25 Jul 2020 01:50:03 +0000

Hi Sofia! Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions! I am so glad we got to meet last year, during the Miami Street Photography Festival, where you were one of the speakers. Can you tell us a little more about who you are, where you are from and what you do? You’re welcome! I love your blog and I’m honored to be part of it. Miami was amazing and meeting you and Sonia was one of the best parts. I am originally from Madrid but now I live in Washington DC. I studied international relations in college and right there I knew I wanted to travel and live in different places. I came to the US to continue my studies, then moved to London to do a doctorate, worked in Bosnia and Herzegovina, and end up back in the US for personal reasons. For the longest time I was a library rat. 2. I noted that you have a background and education in economics, social science and foreign affairs, but I mainly know you as a fantastic street photographer! What was the journey like for you, going from unrelated fields and into street photography? How did you get started in this particular field? What is it about street photography that draws you in and compels you to photograph it? My first encounter with photography happened when I was 15 years old. There was a TV show in Spain that played classic movies and featured a debate with prominent experts in the field that thoroughly discussed the movie every week. I probably spent more than 500 nights watching these films. I fell in love with movie masters such as F.W. Murnau, Alfred Hitchcock, Orson Welles, Francois Truffaut, Luis Bunuel and many others. I didn’t know at the time but the visuals from these movies became embedded in my brain. Instead of following this early passion of mine, I went on to pursue a career in political science and international relations. It was much later that I discovered my love for street photography. After a year of waiting for my security clearance for a state department job, I got restless. When a friend asked me to join him in a street photography workshop I didn’t hesitate. I have been hooked ever since. For me, street photography is about exploration – I love getting lost in cities and experiencing the street. But it is also about the chase and the reward. It’s about bringing it all together and creating something new that is meaningful and unique, it’s about that split of a second that brings together a beautiful or mysterious moment. 3. You are the first female photographer I had gotten to know personally who has young children. What are some of the challenges you face as a mother and photographer? Does being a parent help you create stronger visual work? If yes, in what ways? It is a bit challenging sometimes. When I started doing street photography theone thing I kept hearing was that you should do it everyday. I knew that that was not going to work for me. But then I realized that you have to adjust your practice to your lifestyle and to your personality. You have to do what feels right for you. There are no rules. Before the pandemic, for example, I would do short trips to New York, alone, so that I could be fully focused on photography. No distractions. I really enjoyed that. But with the pandemic I’m not sure when I will be able to do that again.All in all, it is undeniable that having kids poses some extra challenges in terms of finding time to photograph but it is a challenge I accept and try to make the most of it. I have started to find ways to incorporate my kids into my street work, which is exciting for me.In terms of how being a parent may help create stronger visual work, I am not sure. Maybe it makes you more productive when you go out because your time is limited. Perhaps I am more focused. Maybe. Although I also have really bad, unproductive days like everyone else! 4. Your photographs often depict a wonderful play of light and shadow and carry an air of mystery to them. Are there any particular elements you focus on that help you achieve this type of look in your work or do you leave it more to chance? Is any time a good time to photograph the streets or is it better to preplan a little bit? I do love how light can turn ordinary situations into something extraordinary and unique. I know a few places in Washington DC and NYC that allow me to play with light and shadows and I go back to these places quite often. Generally speaking, I tend to look for interesting light arrangements and wait for something to happen like I did in one of my black and white pictures of the train station in Washington DC. But often times I simply walk and leave it to chance. When I started photographing the street, I would go out at any time during the day. But I became obsessed with good lighting to the point that I only go out when the light is most beautiful, that is at the end of the day. I realize this is a mistake and I am trying to address it. Now, I take a camera with me wherever I go, just in case. There’s always an opportunity for a great picture just around the corner! 5. How has the pandemic and subsequent quarantine affected your creative process and your photography? Not being able to take pictures on the street, did you find yourself shooting at home or did you put your camera away altogether? The pandemic has been incredibly challenging in so many respects. For the first couple of weeks I couldn’t function. I was paralyzed, trying not to think about the implications of it all. I was also worried about my family in Spain, one of the hardest hit countries, so I was in a constant state of anxiety. But soon things started to look like a new normal. And the photography community became very active right away. I joined a couple of initiatives and started to feel inspired by other photographers taking pictures during the pandemic. I took my camera. My kids were home with me so I couldn’t go outside but I turned my camera to them. The work that I have done during the pandemic feels very personal and very different from my street work so I have not shared a lot. I don’t even know if these pictures are any good! But I have really enjoyed being creative in a different way. It has also kept me motivated during this difficult time. 6. Are there any particular projects you are currently working on? Or do you have any in mind that you’d like to materialize sometime in the near future? Before the pandemic I was working on a project on and off about social fragmentation in urban spaces. I am fascinated by the business of everyday life in big cities, but my interest in this series was driven by the sense of chaos. In these pictures people are competing for a space that I create with my camera. The characters are not interacting with each other; they are mostly engaged with something that happens outside of the frame. But the common denominator is that there is an element of distress. I use the deep contrast provided by light and shadows to accentuate the drama. I like to get very close to people so I am not sure when I will be able to resume this project. I enjoy doing different things to keep myself motivated so it may be good to have a bit of separation from this work and explore other venues. More recently, and before the pandemic, I started taking pictures during my outings with the kids, which I would like to turn into a series, but this is in a very early stage. All in all, I still prefer to go out on the street with no agenda and see what kind of photographs I can make. I like to experiment and be surprised. I have been using some flash lately to create more drama in my images but I’m still pretty clueless about it. The results have been for the most part unexpected, which can be good and very bad sometimes! 7. What is your best advice for someone just starting out in street photography? What is the one thing you’d like them to know and focus on? Go out and discover the magic in the street, with no pressures, just for the sake of exploring like it is completely new to you. Practice as much as you can and learn from your failures and successes. Study your pictures and think about the common elements that interest you and then shoot more. Once you become more familiar with your own style and triggers, you can start looking for them in advance. If you can, get some feedback from a street photographer you like or trust. Try to join a street photography photo walk or workshop, if there are any in your city. These are great opportunities to hone your skills, meet other photographers, create a community, and get valuable feedback. Most importantly, study and review the work of the masters of street photography or other artists you like. Look for guidance and inspiration in them. Ask yourself what pictures you like best and try to understand why (so that you can better understand your own work). At first, it is ok to emulate what others have done or are doing. It is helpful to learn from others’ bodies of work, methods, and techniques. But ultimately, you have to follow your own path, develop your own methods and your vision, and adjust street photography to your lifestyle. It is not easy and it will not happen overnight but I believe this is the ultimate goal, to make the process of shooting and the pictures you make your own.

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Photographer spotlight – Harvey Stein

Megan Kwasniak — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 22:16:55 +0000

1) Thank you so much for being on the blog today Harvey! Please tell us a little bit about yourself. How and when did you start in photography? Hi Megan, and thank you for interviewing me for your terrific blog. I didn’t begin to photograph until I was 22 years old. This is considered “old” these days, so many people now begin to photograph in their teens and major in photography in college. When I was growing up in Pittsburgh, I was into playing sports and studying a lot for my high school classes. I enrolled via scholarship at Carnegie Mellon, a university that I could walk to from my home. Four years later, I earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Metallurgical Engineering. But I was surrounded by students who were art and drama majors in addition to engineering students. I loved my elective classes, including anthropology, English Lit, and Drama. When I graduated, I knew I would not work as an engineer for long. I was always seeking more creative outlets in college then what engineering could provide. After graduation, I wrote short stories, took ceramic classes, and tried to paint. A year after graduation I found myself in Germany in the U.S. Army (I took R.O.T.C. in college and had a two-year obligation to serve in the army). I bought a Zeiss Contaflex camera there to document my experiences and travels during this time. Once I began shooting I knew that photography could be that creative outlet I hungered for. Upon returning to the states, I moved to New York City, enrolled in a graduate program at Columbia University, and took several photo classes. I was hooked and have never looked back. I began shooting in the grimy streets of New York, it’s people and it’s decay in the early 1970’s. It was thrilling; photography became my profession and my life. 2) Who would you say were your biggest influencers when you first ventured out onto this journey? Were they photographers, painters or artists in other genres? What was it about them that attracted you to their work? My biggest influence was one of my first photo teachers, the important street photographer of the 1970’s and 80’s, Ben Fernandez. He was a big, rough guy from East Harlem; he was an aggressive, in your face photographer with whom I was fortunate enough to study and then teach for at the New School here in New York. He told me to get a Leica M4, get a 21mm lens and go to Coney Island to photograph. Being the good little student that I was, I did all three. Now, nearly 50 years later, I still have the M4 and 21mm lens and still go to Coney Island. I just signed a contract to do my third book about Coney Island, it will be called Coney Island People: 50 Years and will be published in May 2022. Coney is my home away from home. Other influences include Diane Arbus, Lee Friedlander, and the great Garry Winogrand. Although often lumped together because they became well known together due to their group exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art in 1967, their work is quite different from one another. But what unites them is that they mostly use the street as the place where they do their photography but in unique and distinctive ways. Each makes me think in a different way and challenges my notions of what a photograph should look like and can be. 3) Other than New York City, what are some of your favorite places to photograph? Is there any particular city or country you love to come back to over time and if yes, why? I love photographing in New York City, of the nine books I have had published, six have been shot in New York. And the tenth book, the new Coney Island book will make it seven of ten. I have lived here since the mid-60s and cannot imagine living anywhere else. It’s a fascinating and endless city. I am known as a New York photographer, and have been called a visual poet of New York. Next to New York, a favorite country to photograph is Mexico; my book Mexico Between Life and Death was published by Kehrer (German publisher) in 2018. The photographs were made during 14 trips to Mexico between 1993 to 2010. My new love is India, I visited India this January/February, and have made five trips there since 2013. Both countries have a vibrant street life, amazing light and colors, and very curious people who mostly enjoy interacting with travelers and their cameras. I hope to make a book of the India work one of these days. Both countries provide new sights, experiences and shooting opportunities and certainly broaden my education and understanding of the human condition. 4) How (or if) has the pandemic changed your outlook on the photographic process? Do you feel that the quarantine has limited or liberated you in a way? Were you able to take any photographs during this time or did you mostly forgo making new work altogether focusing on other things? The pandemic is terrible and has made 2020 very difficult for everyone on this earth. Our country has been completely unprepared for it, and our administration has failed us greatly in handling this scourge. But it hasn’t changed my outlook about photography. I love most things about this art form but the pandemic has indeed limited my normal photographic practice. Mostly, I photograph on the streets, and the great social street events in New York, including parades, block parties, crowded gatherings, beaches, etc. All this has been cancelled and neutralized, and who knows when they will return. I miss the action and interaction of the streets and photographing the strange and wonderful people found there. The street is now more surreal than I could ever imagine or arrange. However, since I don’t have a car and using public transportation isn’t a safe option yet, I have been forced to shoot in my neighborhood the last two months—-the local streets and parks that are so familiar to me that I have overlooked as viable subjects. I have found that people wearing masks are friendly and open to being photographed, and usually easily engaged in conversation. I also begun a new project to make portraits of the staff and workers of my apartment building–the superintendent in the boiler room, the doormen in the lobby and at the door, the porters gathering the garbage or sweeping the floors, the mail carrier; the people who do all the mundane chores that keep the building running and clean; the jobs that we as tenants take for granted. I’ve gotten to know the staff a little better and have learned more about their lives, a worthwhile endeavor. While the pandemic is having a negative effect on our lives, it is up to us to stay positive, working and engaged. I’ve seen some amazing images made as a reaction to the virus and that has to be considered a positive. 5) You have authored several books over the course of your career. What would be your best advice for new photographers considering publication of their work in this format? In the digital era we are currently living in, is making books still as important as it was years ago? I will always believe that making books is very very important, no matter the time or age. Making photobooks has been a major goal for me, it’s very important and informs my work almost totally. My first book, Parallels: A Look at Twins was published in 1978 and was very well received. I’m now working on my tenth book. It doesn’t get easier the more books you do, it is still difficult to find a publisher and almost none exist now that will not expect the photographer to pay for it. That wasn’t true until the last 10 years ago, so this is a major change. I love the process of doing books—the fact it’s all up to the artist, that there are no real deadlines, and the book is the artist’s vision in long form. There are so many reasons to do a book, but it’s not easy to accomplish. My advice is to become an expert in the subject of the book, whether it’s the depiction of a family or a geographic location. My advice is to cover the subject from all angles and sides, to not rush anything, to take time shooting it. All but one of my books has taken me at least six years to shoot, one has taken 40 years, and the next one covers 50 years of photographing. We need to be patient, thorough and complete in the making of the book. Research is important, it’s not just about making the images, it’s also about learning deeply about the subject. Listen to others, but ultimately, believe in yourself and what you are doing. 6) What’s next for Harvey Stein? What should we be on the lookout for and where can we find your work? I have an online exhibit of work from my Coney Island 40 Years book with my gallery, Sous Les Etoiles, dates are June 9th through July. Check it out, the link is http://www.souslesetoilesgallery.net/exhibitions/harvey-stein As I’ve mentioned, I’ll have another book published in two years so I am working on that, making prints, editing and sequencing images, writing, conducting interviews and thinking about the book’s introduction. Additionally, my latest book, Then and There: Mardi Gras 1979, was to be introduced this April at the Paris Photo New York International Photo Fair here in Manhattan. Of course this was cancelled, so the publisher has postponed the introduction until the September or October. I also conduct travel photo workshops around the world, one was planned to China this fall, that isn’t possible but I am busy planning workshops for next year to Myanmar, India, and New Mexico among other destinations. It’s a full slate, and I hope that things will be much more “normal” next year for many good things to happen. Thanks so much for the interview, some of my work can be seen on Facebook, on Instagram @stein.harvey and on my website at www.harveysteinphoto.com *** cover photo by Sonia Goydenko

The post Photographer spotlight – Harvey Stein first appeared on This Photography Life.

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Medicine Meets Photography – Nepal 2011

Megan Kwasniak — Sun, 14 Jun 2020 22:14:32 +0000

The road became more and more bumpy as we approached our final destination. The driver came to a stop at the bottom of a steep hill. A group of local school children waved to us from an overcrowded yellow bus parked nearby. The group made its way slowly up the hill, wiping dust particles from our eyes. As usual, I stayed slightly behind, making photographs of the joyful children and deliberately taking everything in. I’ve felt overwhelmed since my arrival here few days ago, but there was no time to process anything as of yet. First Kathmandu, then my first trek ever across the Nepalese Himalayas, I knew the trip would be intense like no other before. To give a little context, I have never thought I’d be combining my love of photography with medicine. Lacking that “outsider’s perspective”, I’ve always viewed medicine (and thus my job as an Emergency Physician) as a medium somewhat devoid of color and creativity. Medicine became, after so many years of training and dedication, a duty rather than an artistic endeavor. Now, many do people believe that practicing medicine is a form of art and in a way, I agree with them. But it wasn’t something I viewed in the same way I viewed photography. The two were always strictly divided and the line was almost never crossed. I say “almost” because there were a couple of exceptions. The first exception occurred on this very trip during my third year of residency, in November of 2011. As third year residents, we had a chance to take an elective pertaining to the practice of medicine anywhere abroad. When the opportunity to traverse the Manaslu trek in the Gorkha region of Nepal presented itself, I immediately jumped on it. As part of the elective, a small group of medical students and residents would get to assess the work of an NGO providing medical assistance to the most remote regions of the Himalayas. We would also visit a few government run and private hospitals in more urban areas of Nepal prior to the trek. One of them became of special interest to me. The hospital was called Anandaban Leprosy Hospital. It was founded mainly to diagnose and treat the relatively small yet often neglected population of Nepal infected with Mycobacterium leprae. Due to the disfiguring nature of the disease, individuals affected by leprosy tend to become marginalized by their society. They suffer extreme socioeconomic consequences that extend beyond the course of their illness. We, in the developed world, may only hear of leprosy from historical or religious texts, but to many people in places like Nepal, the disease remains a tangible threat. Therefore, having the chance to visit such unique hospital, I was not only intrigued to witness the mysterious illness from my medical textbooks, my heart also leaped at the possibility of photographing it too. After securing permission from my leaders and the patients themselves, I was able to take photographs I deeply cherish to this day. For the first time ever, the marriage of photography and medicine became part of my creative world. Previously, many of the hospitals I’ve visited during my travels outside the US left an aching feeling in my chest. They were usually not the clean, brightly lit and well equipped facilities I was so used to back at home. It’s a sad reality, but access to and quality of healthcare in most developing nations is not a governmental priority and often takes a back seat to everything else. This leads to a very underfunded, overcrowded and overwhelmed medical system that struggles to deliver any kind of quality of care to its citizens. Imagine being treated in a dim, bare and overcrowded Emergency Ward where there are multiple beds placed next to each other, barely separated by a thin curtain and certainly devoid of any privacy. Perhaps the nurse that comes to start your IV doesn’t have proper gloves. Perhaps the IV fluids or the medicine you need cost more than your family can afford. Maybe the basic treatment you’ll receive will be enough, but for so many, it is not. This is the sad reality for many people across the world, constantly challenged by the lack of access or quality of medical care available to them. It is a complex issue far from being solved today. Thankfully, Anandaban Leprosy Hospital accepts support from abroad and provides respectable care to all of its patients. Not only do the ill get full medical treatment at the facility, but many continue to receive economic and social assistance after their recovery which is essential for their integration back into society. I was glad to see many smiling faces on the wards. The disease was palpably present, however, we got to meet a lot of patients who have fully recovered and are ready to go back home. During my time in Nepal, I was at the very early stages of my photographic journey. I enjoyed taking pictures and I brought my camera everywhere with me. But my photographs quite frankly, were not that good. I am not ashamed of this. I believe that we have to start somewhere and that the only thing that matters is that we keep going. If I became discouraged early on, I would have never accomplished what I have today. It’s important to honor those early days in whatever venture we set ourselves on. They define who we are later in the future. Therefore, I want to share these early images with you, from the leprosy hospital and beyond. Nepal holds a very special place in my heart and I hope to come back one day, perhaps to visit Anandaban and see the Himalayas once more. I am certain my photographs will be different then, maybe a little more refined, maybe deeper in context and meaning. Regardless, I know I’ll always look back on this trip with much nostalgia and warmth in my heart.

The post Medicine Meets Photography – Nepal 2011 first appeared on This Photography Life.

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Reports from the Frontline Part II

Megan Kwasniak — Mon, 11 May 2020 21:18:35 +0000

Sunday, April 19th, 2020 My colleagues and I have started testing ourselves for COVID antibodies. Jim had ordered these highly coveted, but not easily accessible tests from an online distributor a few weeks ago and I was surprised to find them delivered to our doorsteps so soon. Everyone got super excited about this, because the test will allow us to see if any of us have actually been exposed and developed antibodies to the virus. So far, none of my physician colleagues and mid-level providers have had symptoms of COVID and for that I am extremely grateful. But at the same time, I’ve been hopeful for some glimpse of immunity… The test looks a lot like a store bought pregnancy test, except you are using blood serum instead of urine. You have to obtain a small amount of blood and drop it into an appropriate slot on the plastic rectangle, followed by two drops of provided buffer. You then wait ten minutes for optimum results. I got to be the very first person to get tested. As I watched the line of buffer and blood move slowly across the white strip, I felt anxiety rising in my chest. What if it showed antibodies for immunity but also presence of potential virus in my body? I have not been feeling sick, but part of me always worries that I may be a carrier…The test, however, did not show any of that. It came out to be completely negative. Even though slightly disappointing, the results confirmed (in a way) that I have been wearing my PPE appropriately all this time and taking all the necessary precautions not to get exposed. That in itself is reassuring. Monday, April 20th, 2020 The test has become super popular lately and I’ve tested a good number of friends and family for corona antibodies. A touching story about this: a health care worker I know came to me requesting to get tested. She recently became a grandmother for the second time, but has not been able to meet this baby grandchild as of yet. She has been meeting the newborn by the window of her son’s house, unable to touch or hold her, for the fear of infecting her or spreading the virus. This has been really difficult on her and everyone in the family. So when she finally got tested and it came back completely negative, tears welled up in her eyes. The resultant plain white strip with no other visible lines except control reassured her that she at least is not an active carrier at this time. And with no additional scheduled hospital shift this week, she’ll be meeting her baby granddaughter for the first time this weekend! It was such a touching moment to experience. Who would have thought that a a test like this and a drop of blood can hold such power in people’s lives? What strange times we are living in… Thursday, April 23rd, 2020 Today was a big day for me. For the first time ever, I had been interviewed for two different podcasts, a photography podcast and a lifestyle podcast. Both of these are pretty well known in the podcast world and both invitations came pretty unexpectedly. The first one, the photography podcast known as The Candid Frame I have known and listened to for a long time. Its author and photographer himself, th great Ibarionex, had reached out to me a few weeks earlier and commented on some of my photos from the COVID project. I, in turn, humbly offered to get interviewed, which he gladly accepted. The second podcast, known as Listen Hunnay is the prodigy of Jeannie Mai whom I admit I did not know before, but who found me through Instagram hashtags and invited me to the show. Come to think of it, some pretty great things have happened to me specifically through Instagram…Social media can be such a powerful thing in many ways. The interviews were scheduled for 7 and 8PM. So at 6:30PM I chose one of my favorite dresses to wear, put on my red lipstick and sat in front of my laptop waiting for the recording to start. I believe dressing the part, even if you’re going to be recorded in the comforts of your own home, really makes a difference in the final outcome. And I’m really glad I did dress the part as the podcasters were able to see me and recorded me on video camera 🙂 Both talks turned out wonderful and felt more like a conversation than a formal interview. I got to speak a little about medicine and, in the case of the first one, a lot about photography. We specifically discussed this project, Reports from the Frontline, how it came about and where it’s heading. It was a real pleasure to be the guest on both shows. I cannot wait for the final recordings to come out. Friday, April 24th, 2020 Every time I see an X-Ray of COVID pneumonia in one of my patient’s, I get a little sinking feeling inside. The “bilateral fluffy infiltrates” has become almost an identifying factor in persons in whom we suspect the disease. This sign usually indicates an advancing disease and impending hypoxia – low oxygen levels in the person’s blood. The infiltrates can occur in anyone presenting with the disease: the young, the old, the cardiac or asthma patient…The level of “white out” varies among individuals and the outcome can be unpredictable. Some people continue to drop their oxygen levels and have to be moved to the ICU, placed on their abdomens to improve oxygenation to the lowest and deepest parts of their lungs. Some end up on ventilators and oftentimes never make it. To whom this will most likely happen we never really know. COVID 19 has proven to be a wild and capricious beast, one that is capable of destroying everything in its path despite our best efforts. This unpredictability and viciousness has been the most anxiety-provoking aspect of it all. Will this ever change? I am not sure. I do know that faced with this beast head on, physicians all over the world have been relentless in combining efforts and their on going experience to come up with the most effective methods to manage the disease. It’s a work in progress, an evolving matter. The approach changes all the time. What we thought worked well in the beginning often turns out no longer applicable. But I feel as though we get more efficient every day. This, combined with a potential vaccine, will most definitely change the course of the pandemic. I’m hoping that in a few years to come, this will all be merely like the seasonal flu, or rather a cold, the one we all get at some point but barely even remember. Or, even better yet, this will all be nothing but a sad yet distant memory. Monday, April 27th, 2020 This morning I decided to catch up on the news a little, since I have been avoiding it for the past several days. I tried to click only on the titles that seemed to deliver facts, not opinions and that did not sound like the doom and gloom we normally see. The theme seems to be that in the upcoming days, the world will slowly start re-opening. Small business are going to start taking in their customers, restaurants will allow seating inside, sports team will again begin practicing in the stadiums…I’m feeling slightly conflicted about this. Part of me really, really wants to go back to our “normal” lives. I miss hanging out with my friends, going out for brunch, not to mention dancing…But the biggest concern remains: will corona blow up again once we return to normal activities? Will we continue to spread the virus at the same rate we had been before we implemented the quarantine? Are we going to have to wear masks and “elbow bump” instead of hug each other for the indefinite time to come? So many questions remain. Of course we cannot stay in quarantine forever. There must come a time when we finally go back to living our lives…I just truly hope that the virus won’t come back with a vengeance :/ Saturday, May 2nd, 2020 Last night, as I was heading in to work, I encountered a man at the physician parking lot, looking up at the hospital building and waving. You could barely make out the shadow of the person he was waving at, standing in one of the top floor windows. I asked him who he was trying to wave to. “Oh, it’s my wife,” he said. “She’s been admitted for a few days now and even though I am not allowed to visit her, I come here every afternoon so we can see each other through the window.” He was wearing headphones and chatting with her at the same time. My heart sank a little bit. This has been one of the most difficult aspects of this pandemic – families unable to see each other once a one of them gets admitted to the hospital. So many patients have died alone, their families unable to say good bye, to hold their hand while they take their last breath…I cannot imagine the psychological impact this will have for months to come. It is something I think a lot about and have a hard time to come to grips with. It sounded as this man’s wife was going to be fine and will reunite with him soon enough, but for many, this has not been the case. Not being able to say good bye must be one of the most difficult things any human being can go through. In the last several days, despite the no visitor policy adopted across the hospitals in the nation, we have been letting families come and say good bye to the patients who died in our ED due to non COVID related causes. I keep my 6 feet physical distance to deliver the grueling news of a loved one dying, but I try not to keep the mask on when I say it. It is difficult enough to say something like this to the hopeful family members, it feels inhumane to mumble it behind my thick, impenetrable N95. I don’t want to have to repeat those difficult words because my voice sounds muffled, I want to deliver the message clearly and let the process of grieving begin right there and then. I’m glad that when the question “Can I see him/her?” finally comes, I can say, yes of course, you can definitely do so.” As I gathered my shift essentials from the car, I wished the man and his ill wife speedy recovery and a prompt reunion. He sounded hopeful and thanked me for being on the frontlines and for helping people like his wife. In return I appreciated his gratitude. In the end, this couple is one of the lucky ones. So many will not get to reunite, to hold each other again, to express love and appreciation for one another…The truth is, we on the frontlines are witnesses to such situations all year round, whether there is a pandemic or not. Accidents happen, people die unexpectedly, lives are forever changed in one minute. But never before have we witnessed this at such magnitude and frequency as during the COVID crisis. Seeing this every single day, several times a day can be incredibly taxing on the heart and spirit, even for the most hardened physicians. COVID is not leaving us unscathed and it will take a while to heal the wounds…

The post Reports from the Frontline Part II first appeared on This Photography Life.

The post Reports from the Frontline Part II appeared first on This Photography Life.

Reports from the Frontline

Megan Kwasniak — Thu, 16 Apr 2020 22:23:13 +0000

Monday, March 9th, 2020 It’s hard to believe that just few days ago I came back from Cuba. The trip, as wonderful as it was, is suddenly feeling like a distant memory. As much as I’m trying to keep it cool and composed, there are moments when I get overcome with anxiety. The talk of the world is nothing but Corona. The number of COVID cases in the USA are rising and our conversations at work are becoming more and more about what to do when we get a surge of sick patients and how to preserve our PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) should it become scarce. This is definitely the biggest concern for doctors and nurses throughout the country right now. Our Whatsapp work group has been exploding recently. We talk about everything. We’re sharing our personal worries and concerns, exchange COVID stories from the media and bring up possible plans for action for our busy ED. Among the serious conversations dominating the group, someone sends a meme that makes me laugh quietly. I welcome the comic relief; without it I feel as if my mind would explode. But the overall mood is not jovial. We are learning of other health care workers throughout the country and beyond who have already been exposed to the virus and tested positive. Many physicians report in social media groups that they have likely treated positive COVID patients but were not able to test them, as the patients did not meet the current criteria for testing. We do not have proper testing procedures and not enough test kits in this country and this upsets me tremendously. Everyone in health care is at least a little bit worried at this point and most of us feel lost and unsure on how to proceed, especially since there are no clear recommendations provided to us at this time. Everything seems to be a work in progress. In situations like this one, you have to be open minded and quick to adapt to ever changing guidelines. We are hearing reports that Italy has closed its borders completely as they lose more patients daily. This is starting to feel a little bit surreal. Saturday, March 21st, 2020 I feel uneasy today, because I decided to purchase my own N95 masks which someone is selling for $80 per box, way over their usual price. The person quoted me for three boxes and I went with it, which came out to be $240 for 60 masks total. Jim (my partner) is unhappy about it, calling it “price gouging” and of course he is right about this. But I am doing this for my own sanity. Our biggest concern as ED physicians has been the possible lack of PPE and I just don’t want to have to face this situation. I feel like everyone is making preparations and I don’t want to be the last naïve doc left without any PPE because I did not think ahead of time. For some, this is a simple issue: if no one provides them with PPE, they will not be able to take care of patients. For me, this has more to do with having control over something in this crazy situation versus being at the mercy of others. Of course I want to do my job properly, of course I want to show up and serve those that need me the most. But I also want to be protected. If we do run out of PPE, what will we do? If we get sick, we cannot help anyone else. I don’t want to end up in such situation. I rather prepare ahead of time. This is what we, Emergency Physicians, are great at: anticipating potentially serious situations, preparing ahead of time to mitigate them and then responding to the best of our ability in the moment they happen. In this way, COVID is no different than any other situation we face in the ER on a daily basis. My phone today became a source of PTSD. Whether it’s social media or the news, the information currently being posted is incredibly stressful and anxiety provoking, especially FB and the media. Ironically, posts from distraught docs are a temporary bandaid to my feelings of isolation and loneliness, but after several minutes of scrolling I can feel my heart rate increase dramatically and my overall sense of uneasiness taking over. When my phone died today in the middle of a conversation with an anxious friend, I actually felt relieved and decided to leave it in another room for an undetermined period of time. This would normally be unheard of as I am attached to my phone like a calf to its mother. But in this situation I am putting strict restrictions on myself regarding the news, social media and actually anything corona related. Preserving my sanity truly relies on this. Sunday, March 22nd, 2020 This afternoon I went to pick up the newly purchased masks. The seller asked me to meet him at a parking lot of a popular restaurant in the neighboring town. When I arrived, this restaurant, as most others, was closed and the parking lot deserted. It felt a little strange to be buying something from a complete stranger, at a deserted parking lot…Strange times call for strange measures I guess. He pulled up next to me in his car, took out several boxes out of his trunk and handed over the sixty masks without any issues. I feel relieved and super glad that I bought them. Somewhere in the back of my mind I feel much calmer now knowing that if we truly are hit like a wave and find ourselves without any PPE, I can reach for this emergency supply and help my colleagues too. I have to work a night shift tonight (6pm-6am) and I’m feeling a bit apprehensive about it, but I’m also hoping to interview some of my colleagues and perhaps take a few photographs. I believe this particular time we find ourselves in is history in the making and must be documented as we see it… Thursday, March 26th It’s amazing what a difference a few solid hours of sleep can make. Over the past several days, I have not been able to sleep well at night and kept dreaming about Covid. In addition, if I wake up in the middle of the night with a slightly dry throat, I immediately think I’ve contracted the virus. “So this is it, this is how it starts,” my mind tells me, taking me to the darkest places of my subconscious. I have trouble falling back asleep after that for a while. Last night however, I was able to get some proper rest and woke up feeling rejuvenated and ready to face whatever I needed to face this day. I felt more energized and joyful at the little things: my favorite music, a delicious smoothie I made at home, my sweet pups’ kisses. In this better state of mind, I am better able to serve my patients and to support my team. I must protect this state of mind at all costs. As part of keeping my sanity, I have started to limit my social media time and my consumption of the news. I now believe a healthy dose of no more than 30 minutes a day is sufficient. The rest I try to spend doing other things, like writing these thoughts down for example. I feel much, much better this way. April 2nd, 2020 I haven’t written anything down in this journal for a while. Perhaps because I had a few days off from work and took the time to clear my mind and stay off the corona topic entirely. Today I peaked at the news again. We have now exceeded 1 million cases of confirmed COVID infections throughout the world. China is no longer the leader in this. United States has taken that position, followed by Italy, Spain and now even Germany. I am wondering how much higher these numbers will rise…I’m tempted to place bets, but I don’t want to make light out of this situation. Sometimes it feels like the apocalypse has come and it will destroy the world as we know it. If it doesn’t end it, it will change it for sure. Reports coming from New York are absolutely heartbreaking. I talk with my physician colleagues and friends from the area on regular basis. Despite the dire conditions in their already overcrowded EDs, they remain super strong and keep showing up in good spirits! They are working in an incredibly tough environment, seeing hundreds of COVID patients a day, a significant number of which are very ill and admitted to the ICU. There are special morgues set up just outside the hospitals to store the growing number of patients that had succumbed to the illness. I can vividly imagine what is going on there, because I had lived and trained in New York City for 14 years of my life. The city is close to my heart. At times, I feel a mixture of guilt and shame for not being there right now to help. We don’t have it as bad here in Florida, at least not yet. We are seeing patients, but the overall volume of people seen in the ED has decreased somewhat. Most people are afraid to come to the hospital at this time and rightly so. We appreciate all those who are taking the quarantine seriously. Social isolation seems to be the only way so far to combat the virus. On a positive note, local communities nation wide have shown tremendous support for health care workers everywhere. We have restaurants dropping off free meals for us and local churches offering prayer (and snacks!) to get us through the day. In big cities like New York, there are cheers and applause heard throughout the city, as residents show up at 7PM to support all health care workers on the frontlines of the pandemic. I must say, for the first time since becoming a physician, I feel appreciated and know that my presence actually matters. I feel tremendous gratitude for the community standing behind us and cheering us on. April 7th, 2020 We have set up a system to help with the process of seeing potential COVID patients in our ED. I know a lot of people have been working hard behind the scenes to streamline and make this as efficient as possible. We currently have a special tent set up outside that accommodates all the potential, but not critically ill corona patients. If someone is noted to be very sick, they come inside the ED and are placed in negative pressure rooms to minimize exposure to others. This model has been implemented in many hospitals across the country and it works very well in my opinion. I am incredibly glad my hospital made this plan come to life as well. In terms of my shifts, we are seeing increasing numbers of COVID cases, but the overall volume is not overwhelming. Adherence to social isolation rules and avoiding the Emergency Room unless absolutely necessary is contributing to this volume drop and making it easier for us to take care of COVID patients as we have more time to devote to their care. I must say, I never knew how much time donning on and donning off the entire PPE takes. In order to do it properly, you have to follow proper procedures and be extremely careful not to self contaminate during the process. This can become very time consuming, especially with back to back patients. I believe that this is one of the reasons why so many health care workers on the frontlines have contracted corona virus across the world. During times of chaos, it is very easy to become complacent and screw up this meticulous procedure, putting yourself greatly at risk. This is why the lower ED volumes help us out in the end. April 15th, 2020 I must admit, I am doing a lot better mentally these days. I am not sure what it is, perhaps a combination of having enough PPE at this point and feeling more confident “on the frontlines” (aka the ED) as well as taking proper care of my mental well being, both at work and at home when I am off. Limiting my news and social media time has had the greatest positive impact I believe. It is not that I am against social media, quite on the contrary. Social media is what allows me to stay connected, to share my story such as this one, to find inspiration from others…But unfortunately, whenever I scroll, I see that negativity in that space is much more prevalent than anything else, so limiting my exposure and being selective about how much time I spend online has helped preserve my sanity tremendously. The volume in the ED remains low, which is a sign that people continue to social distance and stay at home, taking the quarantine seriously. That re-assures me and I appreciate all those who are doing their part. I am certain it is not easy to do this, especially that we do not know how much longer the pandemic will last. Everyone is fighting their own battle, everyone has to overcome different obstacles in this fight against corona. Knowing that we are in this together is the silver lining in this situation. Something good yet unexpected has happened yesterday: a box of COVID antibody test kits arrived at our house with the morning mail. Jim had purchased it few weeks ago online, but due to its demand, I didn’t think we would get it so soon. More curious than anything, myself and a few colleagues performed the test on ourselves at work. The kit looks a bit like a store bought pregnancy test: you have to obtain a sample of blood, drop it into the appropriate slot on the kit followed by two drops of serum and then watch it slowly move across the strip until it hits the control line. When the control line changes from blue to red, you know that at least the test has been done correctly. Anyway, this antibody test can show you whether you have current exposure to corona and/or whether you have the antibodies to it or not. So far I have neither corona nor the antibodies. At least this reassures me that I have been wearing my PPE correctly 🙂 With that thought in mind, I am off to my shift, ready to face whatever comes my way. I hope that no matter what, I am able to help somebody or at least inspire somebody to stay strong and to keep fighting the good fight. Whether we like it or not, we are witnesses to history in the making. Eventually this too shall pass, as nothing lasts forever. And what we can hope for is that when we do come out of this, we come out stronger and changed for the better.

The post Reports from the Frontline first appeared on This Photography Life.

The post Reports from the Frontline appeared first on This Photography Life.